Friday 9 April 2010

Desire

why do we do it? A question I ask myself sometimes, especially when it is time to return to Melbourne. What began as kind of an experiment borne out of some deep desires has turned into something more. We yearned to experience something of freedom and mobility, of slow and stress free, of a more intimate connection with nature. Yurting was the only possible option, so we took it. One year later, we are not the same as when we began.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard Colin say before “I don’t want to work anymore” For something of a workaholic that is major. Perhaps he has just replaced one obsession/passion with another. I think it is deeper than that though.

It is not that we dislike our urban lives, it is that we want something different/more. In yurting we have experienced another way of living and being. The deep desires that we initially struggled to identify and express when we began dreaming of yurting have been fully awakened. The fulfilling of these desires is elusive, the desire continues to grow the more that it is experienced.

That leaves us in a frustrating place. Like eating one piece of chocolate and looking longingly at the rest, knowing that you have to wait to have another piece. The desire grows, the eating is sweet, we savor the taste, appreciate the piece we had, look longingly at the rest, anticipate eating more and wait and wait.......desiring and dreaming.

It feels like we are in the waiting time. We’ve had some chocolate, we look forward to some more, but what we really want is the whole lot all of the time. But now is not ‘the’ time. We have family and business commitments and responsibilities, not to mention financial restraints, we are not free to indulge. But oh how much we want to!

So, one year in, our yurting adventures have awakened us, enlivened us, surprised and delighted us, and they have left us yearning, dissatisfied, disorientated and impatient. We can’t have what we really want (yurting more of the time) and we are not prepared to give it up, so where does that leave us?

So once again we head back to urban life, take a deep breath, and plunge into a different rhythm. We’ll be swept away in rush and hurry, busy and tired, stress and worry and with it excitement and opportunity, purpose and contribution.

And dreaming will sustain us through all......Byron Bay in July calls.......